Saturday, August 12, 2006

Your car questions answered

On Nitrogen filled tires:

The air we breathe is 78% nitrogen anyway. So if you get to 100% nitrogen, what's the difference? Really nothing. Aircraft tires are filled with pure nitrogen because it can be considered completely moisture free. The tires on a 747 go from 120 degrees to below freezing soon after take-off and the reverse when landing. If there was any moisture in there it would freeze and could cause tire leaks along the bead which an airplane can't afford. This level of precision isn't needed in your car.

When you fill your car tire with air it is usually very low in moisture content when the air comes from a stationary compressor. The moisture in the compressed air condenses inside the tank and settles to the bottom. The air that you put into a car tire from the compressor is quite moisture free.

I've heard some people say that nitrogen is great for tires because it doesn't change pressure when the temperature changes. That's a bunch of crap, go back to 9th grade chemistry and retake that class. All gasses change pressure with temperature, including noble gasses.

On the Ford driveability issue:

The repair for this problem in a 2002 Ford Tore-ass can be acomplished by any do-it-yourselfer on a Saturday afternoon. First open all four doors of the car, the hood and trunk. Now take the five gallon gas can that you use for filling the lawnmower and dump all the gas on the seats, carpet, trunk liner and engine. Make sure you pour a trail on the ground from the car to a location behind something solid. Now light a Newport with a match and place the match in the trail of gasoline. Sit back and watch the show. When the show is over, call your insurance company and get some new wheels. Problem solved! (If you'd actually like to know what I think you can call me Luke, I just didn't want to type it all out. That is unless you copied and pasted that or just made it up.)

Submit more questions in the comment box if you'd like, real ones only.

By the way Paul B. who writes repair advice for the Red Star and on A.M. 1.5.0.0. is an idiot. The last time he was turning wrenches was probably during the Nixon administration. Anyone can read Alldata Paul so just quit reciting Technical Service Bulletins on the air and in print. You don't know shit about shit.

Once in Paul's column I remember him telling people how to do a key-off battery drain test with a test light. Paul said to make sure not to try to start the car with the light hooked up because it would "burn up." All it would actually do is glow brightly just as it would if you put it across the battery terminals. Shut up Paul, I wrote so many letters to the editor about your stupid ass. I think they just handed them to you because no matter how plainly I explained your errors they still thought you were still the expert.

We used to make fun of his column almost weekly in class at Dunwoody. The insturctors would bring in his column, read it and then the students would point out all of the technical errors. Don't read his shit.

9 Comments:

Blogger Insurgent said...

I fill my tyres with helium so as to offset some of the extra weight that I carry around.

5:28 AM  
Blogger Rex said...

Unlike insurgent I simply fill my tires with bull shit.

11:01 AM  
Blogger Insurgent said...

I'm driving a 2004 Lincoln Towncar with 221,000 miles on it. It basically drives like new, so I was surprised to see the "service engine soon" light come on, after I had been driving it all day. Otis says it's nothing, but I'm not convinced. Should I tell the boss?

10:04 PM  
Blogger Lee said...

You're my favorite insturctor, Rex.

1:13 AM  
Blogger Luke said...

Insurgent is a comment machine!

2:36 AM  
Blogger Insurgent said...

insturctor?

3:40 PM  
Blogger Klaus said...

I fill my tyres with raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings, cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels, doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

3:49 PM  
Blogger C-Train said...

so rex when you gonna debate dr.z?

6:47 PM  
Blogger Rex said...

Fuck Dr. Z, fuck him in the ass with a big rubber dick!

8:57 PM  

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