Sunday, April 09, 2006

Buffalo girls won't ya come out tonight

Jeremy's quotes to remember:

Scene One
Setting: The drive home from Luke and Lee's on Saturday night in my truck.
Jeremy: Rex your truck's clock is off.
Rex: Not by more than two minutes maybe.
Jeremy: Oh, sorry, I was looking at the CD counter.

Scene Two
Setting: In the garage next to the box of toothbrushes for my vending business.
Jeremy: Could I have one of your toothbrushes?
Rex: Take one of the bigger ones, they don't fit in all of my machines.
Jeremy: I gaged when I was brushing my teeth and puked a little mustard on my old one.
Rex: That's fuckin' disgusting, just take the new one!

Scene Three
Setting: Me typing this blog entry in my room and Jeremy folding laundry in his room.
Jeremy: I have never cleaned all of my laundry in the same day, I have too many t-shirts.
Rex: (laughs, laughs again, and again)
Jeremy: I might just give you the libertarian ones because I don't give a rats ass anymore.
Rex: So you don't see any hope for the libertarian party?
Jeremy: I would see hope if there were a bunch of billionare libertarians, but we're screwed!

Jeremy and I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart tonight. I've never been a classic movie fan but it was a great film. Jeremy confessed that he usually cries at the end of that movie. That statement just reinforces my thesis that Jeremy may look like a mad dog killer, but he's really just a fuzzy teddy bear.

Backing up to previous events, good times were had on Saturday. My cousin Kari and her husband Micheal had a baby named Gabriel in January. Gabriel is cute and polite. He only cried when Karin held him. Gabriel was probably jealous that he will not be the only cute baby around soon because Karin is pregnant now as well (Go Brian!). We crammed more than 25 people into Jolene and Steve's house to celebrate Gabriel's birth last Saturday afternoon. Good times were had by all.

I told Uncle Dick that I wouldn't use him anymore to do my taxes because he's quitting the business soon. It didn't seem to hurt his feelings. Dick believes in "paying your fair share." I told that to my new accountant Deborah "Frenchie" McDonald. That almost made Frenchie cry, I saw a tear form but she fought it back. I told Frenchie that the ultimate goal number on the bottom line of your 1040 form is zero. Her boss corrected me and said, "No it's a negative number!"

I think I'll refer to her in the future as "Frenchie the Tax Ninja!" She found multiple missed deductions from 03 and 04 that Dick and his coworker missed for me in past years. Frenchie then pulled out her katana swords from behind her desk, took off her glasses and did some crazy chop, chop, slash, chop on my adjusted gross income (agi). She was like Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I swear. Reciepts were flying and people ran screaming down the hallway, she went totally nuts!

When all the dust and shreded tax forms settled on the ground, my AGI was around 14k bucks. That is so awesome, lovin' that depreciation! I gladly paid the bill for "Ninja Services Rendered." It's not often that you can write a check for $475 and smile!

Talked to Chris finally and he's alive and well. I keep finding more of his stuff in the house even though he moved out months ago. Today I found a box with a karate belt and some shirts and his leather motorcycle jacket.

I need to get a picture of the ghetto fabulous body work we did on Chris's Honda. He spent about $225 on mostly junkyard parts after nailing some other person's bumper. Part of the car we straightened out by yanking on it with my Jeep and a tow strap. Now Chris and his beautiful bride Karin cruise the neighborhood, straight pimpin' in a red Accord with a gray hood. From time to time Karin leans out the window and screams, "We're Rich Beeeeeeatch!" Thank goodness he has that RX-8 too.

Busy week coming up: executive committee meeting monday night, sign tax forms on tuesday, meetup wednsday, tax day protest, convention and poker saturday!


Blogger Insurgent said...

Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.

8:37 AM  
Blogger Lee said...


9:25 PM  
Blogger Insurgent said...

You forgot to mention my quote while pulling bags of potato chips from the garbage can--"I always eat food out of the trash!"

10:47 PM  

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